Grief is a natural response to loss. Grief can be summarized as sadness felt after suffering loss. Although that’s a fine cursory definition, it doesn’t really give grief true meaning. Grief is a deep and sometimes complex response to a loss. Holidays, birthdays and other events can spark grief even years after the loss. Behavioral health provider and social worker at Mayo Clinic Health System Jessie Wolf says, “Even though it’s often associated with death, grief can be the result of any sort of loss or major life change. Losing your job, getting divorced, even moving — these all can elicit feelings of grief.”
Initial grief frequently comes as acute emotional pain.
While it may seem insurmountable when it first grasps hold of your life, there
are ways to cope with grief. Supplying yourself with awareness, knowledge and
healthy grieving tactics is the best way to combat your loss.
Things to watch for:
- Do not
try to do everything at once – set small targets that you can easily
achieve, at a pace you choose. Be careful not to focus on the things you
cannot change.
- Be
mindful of numbing behaviors such as alcohol or drug use, gambling or
sexually acting out. These only offer temporary escapes that contribute to
poor mental health and create other problems.
Things that may help you during the grieving process:
- Give
yourself permission to feel. Grieving is a normal part of dealing with
loss. But you can’t grieve if you don’t allow yourself the opportunity. Be
sure to recognize the need to grieve and let it run its natural course.
Your emotional health will be better served if you face your grief.
- Self-care.
Choose a well-balanced diet. Exercise, even if just taking regular walks
outside. Get enough sleep: strive for 8 hours each night. Practice
mediations. Be patient with yourself. Attend a support group!
- Write
a letter to the one you lost, even if the loss was a ‘thing,’ instead of a
person. If you’ve recently lost a loved one, try expressing your feelings
through a letter. Writing a message about your emotions can be cathartic
and aid in coping.
- Journal
about positive memories. This is similar to writing a letter and can apply
to any sort of loss. Even if you’ve lost your house, a journal about
positive memories and experiences will help you focus on the good times.
In terms of a loved one’s death or divorce, journal about why you loved
them and the joy you shared together.
- Talk
to someone. Even though talking to someone about your feelings seems
simple, it can be extremely challenging. People may feel safer shutting
everyone else out during their time of grief. Resist that urge and find a
confidant to share with.
- Understand
grief affects everybody and in different ways. Grief is not age-specific
or limited to certain populations. Children, teens and adults all grieve.
Recognize this fact and expect signs of grief from all involved parties,
no matter the age. And remember, everyone has their own unique form of
grieving. There is no textbook way to grieve.
- Lend a
supportive ear to others. Hope loves company. Maybe someone else’s
grief doesn’t affect you in the same way or much at all. It’s still
important to support others during their grieving process. Spending time
in the company of those who have suffered comparable pain helps us better
cope, feel understood, supported and not alone.
- If
you’ve ended a long-term relationship, now may be the time for
self-introspection. Focus on specific tasks, such as moving to a new
place, reorganizing or decorating your existing space, separating joint
accounts, re-establishing or starting new hobbies, etc.
- Prepare
for recurring grief. Holidays, birthdays and other events can spark grief
— even years after a loss. Recognize these triggers and prepare to handle
the grief as needed.
“Loss and subsequent grieving are challenging. But with
proper coping techniques and an understanding of the grieving process, you will
be better prepared to handle grief and loss,” adds Wolf.
Dealing with loss and associated grief is an individual and
very personal journey. It’s important to find what healthy practices work best
for you; just remember, you are not alone.
In some cases, people may suffer an extreme and prolonged
reaction to a loss. This is known as complicated grief, in which the sorrow
continues without abating, leading to a preoccupation with the loss, and
causing people to have trouble moving on with life. If you think you might be
living with complicated grief, please reach out to a mental health professional
for assistance.
Keep coming back. It works if you work it, SO WORK IT,
YOU’RE WORTH IT.
Adopted and adapted from a compilation of articles
https://newsnetwork.mayoclinic.org/discussion/7-steps-for-managing-grief-and-loss/
https://jedfoundation.org/resource/how-to-deal-with-grief-and-loss/
https://www.helpguide.org/mental-health/grief/coping-with-grief-and-loss
https://www.mskcc.org/news/coping-grief-7-things-remember-when-dealing-loss
https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/i-hear-you/202411/how-to-cope-with-devastating-loss
https://www.nhs.uk/mental-health/self-help/tips-and-support/how-to-be-happier/