“I’m nervous!” I told her.
“Nervous-cited?” she joked in an effort to remind me how
close the feelings of nervous and excited can be.
I paused and considered her words.
“Actually, not really. I’m more
afraid.”
Afraid.
Fearful.
Adopted and adapted from several articles referenced at
the end of this article.
Even those of us who believed we’d traveled pretty far down
our path of self-awareness or enlightenment still give in and can become
paralyzed by fear. Fear places joy and sense of safety on pause. Fear possesses
the ability to steal the moment for itself. This manifests itself in many
ways and if we aren’t vigilant, it can bring us to our knees. Here are
some things to remember when fear is taking you over:
Overthinking everything accomplishes nothing.
Fear, as a basic survival mechanism, causes us to focus our attention on perceived threats. Fear prompts fight, flight or paralysis by analysis. When we allow fear to permeate, it takes a toll on mental health, leading to increased stress, anxiety, and even physical symptoms. We become stuck in the cycle of “what if ____” … conjuring mental images of various worst-case scenarios. Our brain, riddled with fear, ceases to acknowledge a complete reality and all possible outcomes, and instead becomes wholly focused on the perceived terror of the worst possible outcomes or experience to come. Unease and uncertainty spin us into a downward cycle.
What If?
Fear sparks the impostor syndrome. What if I’m not good enough? What if they don’t love me? What if I’m not strong enough? What if they do something that will cause me harm? What if, what if…
When we allow our brains to spiral into this thinking, we’ve
surrendered control to fear. Fear disrupts our ability to think clearly.
Fear pauses our positivity because we’ve subconsciously convinced ourselves of
some of the worst possible outcomes. Fears lure our brain into thinking we are
powerless or not good enough or not deserving. That’s a lie. And it’s often put
forward by people who are buried in their own fear or ignorance or worse yet,
hate.
You are not alone in feeling fearful (or feeling alone).
Perhaps the most powerful way fear places our life on hold
is when it signals us to hide or retreat. When we allow trepidation to
override life, we become simultaneously embarrassed and afraid. We
convince ourselves that we are completely powerless over a situation or that
others have not experienced what we are going through or would ever feel the
way we do. Or that we’re a victim. We become wrapped up in how
overwhelming and powerful our fear feels. Devoid of any joy, embarrassed
and scared, maybe even anger, we retreat into solitude and more overthinking,
which in turn further feeds our fears. But you are NOT alone! So many of
us are fighting the same exact battle alongside you.
The elephant in the room: Political related fear and
anxiety.
Today’s politically turbulent times are a breeding ground
for unhealthy emotions and responses, including fear. A recent survey by the
American Psychological Association found that more than three-quarters of
Americans report feeling significant stress about the future of the nation.
Political anxiety is a type of stress or unease triggered by
political events, discussions, or the broader political climate. This form of
fear arises when individuals feel uncertain, powerless, or overwhelmed by the
direction of the country or the actions of its political leaders. It can also
stem from fears about policies that may directly impact their personal life,
community, or societal values. Political opinions can intertwine with personal
identities, making disagreements feel personal, while political polarization
and constant media exposure may amplify fear, anger, and cynicism.
Majorities in the two major parties both attribute traits like dishonesty,
immorality, and closed-mindedness to their political opponents fueling an
"us versus them" mentality, where individuals feel their values and
way of life are constantly under threat from those on the opposing side. This
heightened tension not only increases feelings of fear and uncertainty but also
fosters feelings of hostility and helplessness, especially when compromise or
resolution seem impossible.
The solution?
Recognize the signs of fear or feeling overwhelmed. They
include emotional exhaustion, difficulty concentrating, and a sense of
helplessness. If you find yourself doomscrolling, avoiding conversations, or
feeling persistent tension, your nervous system may be overloaded. The first
step is to notice these signals and make a commitment to start addressing them.
Stop thinking and start doing… Don’t fear change. Push back fear and
strip it of its power to place your life on pause. Here are a few ways to help
start doing that:
- Engage
courage and action. Do what you can, even in positive baby steps and even
if those positive actions are unrelated to the fear. Steps 1, 2 and
3 and the Serenity Prayer are great starting points! Yes, there are some
things we can’t control. Those are the ones we give to our Higher Power.
- Take
care of your body. Our bodies benefit from rest and activity, so try to
get enough sleep to feel refreshed, and take part in physical activities.
There are lots of ways to get moving—walking, yoga, pickleball, exercise
classes, and hiking are just a few options for indoor and outdoor
activities. Remember to drink plenty of water and healthy fluids, and
nourish yourself with foods that you enjoy and that help your body feel at
its best!
- Mindfulness
and relaxation techniques, like deep breathing or meditation, can be
helpful for managing negative emotions, including fear. These practices
reduce anxiety by calming the nervous system and grounding you in the
present moment, which may make it easier to process stressful situations.
- Seize
the feeling of fear and shift it toward gratitude. Remind yourself
of the silver lining contained in every seemingly fearsome situation.
- Create
the connections you need. Loneliness is rampant in the U.S. and creates
fertile ground for fear. When you seek out connection with others who have
an open mind and value differences, you sooth your nervous system and can
share different perspectives and understandings. You can also cultivate
caring relationships by checking on how others are doing.
- Boundaries.
Setting clear boundaries is an effective way to protect your mental
health. If a conversation feels unproductive, one-sided, or overly
emotional, consider politely disengaging. This approach can help prevent
unnecessary conflict, allowing you to maintain relationships with those
who may have differing views.
- Limit
and diversify news and social media consumption. Excessive news and social
media exposure, particularly from one-sided perspectives or sources can
amplify fear and codependency. Taking breaks from the constant influx of
information can improve emotional well-being and help you redirect your
focus to things that bring you joy and fulfillment.
- Service
Work. Volunteering to a cause or charitable need can be effective ways to
manage fear. Redirecting your emotions into meaningful action, such as
advocacy or local initiatives, can provide a sense of purpose, reduce
feelings of helplessness, and help create positive change in areas you
care about.
- Attend
a CoDA Meeting!
- Access
professional mental health care.
We are all in this together. Break the power of fear!
Keep Coming Back. It works if you work it, so WORK IT,
YOU’RE WORTH IT!
Adapted and adopted from:
https://www.marcandangel.com/?s=4+things+to+remember+when+fear