Healthy connection in relationships thrives when each person brings something unique and special to it. Healthy connections exist when value is placed on who you are together and who you are individually. A healthy relationship requires that each person bring something unique and special to it and happens when two people understand and appreciate each other’s similarities, differences and values not only on who you are together, but also on who you are individually.
Healthy connections in a relationship are characterized by
trust, honesty (authenticity), respect, open communication, emotional intimacy
and mutual support. Physical intimacy, while very often part of a healthy
relationship, is not a required component for one, and should never be a substitute
for elements fostering personal growth and a safe environment for both partners
to thrive together:
- Trust:
Essential for emotional intimacy. Partners should feel secure and
reliable in each other's presence and not a need to control them.
- Honesty:
Open communication fosters trust. Both partners should feel free to
express themselves without fear of judgment.
- Interconnection,
while supporting individuality and separate identity.
- Respect:
Demonstrated through active listening and valuing each other's opinions.
It creates a safe space for growth. It’s okay to agree to disagree.
- Support:
Partners encourage each other's personal goals and interests and
celebrate successes together. This mutual support strengthens the bond.
- Understanding
/ Acceptance: Acknowledging differences and the context of each other’s
lives. Gentleness with each other through thoughts, words and actions.
- Boundaries:
Physical, emotional, and mental limits or guidelines a person sets for
themselves which others need to respect. You and your partners or friends
should feel comfortable in the activities you are doing together,
platonic or intimate.
- Open
Communication: Honest discussions about feelings and challenges are
vital. This helps in resolving conflicts and deepening understanding.
- Authenticity:
Being genuine and true to oneself allows for a deeper connection.
Partners appreciate each other's individuality.
- Common
Goals: Aligning on values and aspirations fosters unity. This shared
vision contributes to a strong relationship foundation.
- Quality Time: Spending meaningful time together enhances connection and intimacy, reinforcing the relationship's strength.
- Emotional
Accessibility: Partners are open about their feelings. This vulnerability
is crucial for meeting each other's emotional needs.
- Understanding
that both partners will have off days promotes a supportive environment,
but remember that supporting does not equate to absorbing your partner’s
emotional state nor making their problems your responsibility to
fix.
- Forgive
Each Other: Any partner or friend will have qualities, characteristics,
and behaviors that push your buttons. Forgive quickly, let go of grudges,
and start over each day. This does NOT mean being a pushover or accepting
mistreatment or abuse from someone. If unacceptable behaviors continue,
it may be time to move on.
- Mutual
Benefit: True partners or friends add to each other’s lives. Often the
benefit isn’t always equal, but it is mutual. True friends / partners
monitor the relationship to ensure there is both give and take, refusing
to allow it to become chronically one-sided and draining.
- Joyfulness:
Healthy connection involves two people who regularly laugh together, find
reasons to celebrate, and experience delight in unexpected moments. It
sounds simple, but the relationships that flourish include individuals
who truly enjoy being together.
If you have most of these qualities in your relationship,
the relationship is headed in the right direction toward a satisfying,
successful future. The best relationships continue to develop and grow when the
two people involved refuse to settle for mediocrity or monotony. Approach the
relationship with an attitude of gratitude. If this person is a significant
part of your life, let them know it.
Remember to also allow for differences. People enjoy being
able to express their unique thoughts, opinions, and feelings, knowing they
will be received with an open mind and heart by the listener. Interacting in
this way will give you the opportunity to truly understand each other.
Finally, remember that safety (emotional and physical) is
the foundation of connection in a relationship. In order to set boundaries,
communicate, and have fun, everyone must feel safe. If you do not feel safe to
express your feelings, have independence, or anything else on this list, seek
support! Professional therapy or support groups like CoDA are a great place to
start!
Keep coming back. It works if you work it, so WORK IT,
YOU’RE WORTH IT!
An abbreviated adaptation of several articles:
https://insightspsychology.org/psychology-of-healthy-relationships/
https://wellbeing.jhu.edu/blog/2020/09/15/12-elements-of-healthy-relationships/
https://health.clevelandclinic.org/signs-of-a-healthy-relationship
https://www.verywellmind.com/all-about-healthy-relationship-4774802
https://www.betterhelp.com/advice/relations/top-10-characteristics-of-healthy-relationships/