Ever lose faith in yourself, your recovery program, your
Higher Power?
Abbreviated and adapted from an article by Angel
Chernoff
I fail and lose faith sometimes too. We all do. I’m human. I
fall short and fail at things far more than anyone could imagine, and certainly
far more than I’d often like to admit. And it feels just as horrible for me as
it does for you or anyone else — I sometimes lose faith in myself and
subsequently in my belief that I matter to anyone, including or any higher
power and in the worst times, I crawl back into a dark hole of shame,
depression and isolation
Deep down, I might know these negative reactions aren’t
helpful but when I’m caught in the undercurrent, it’s hard for me to think or
behave clearly or healthily. So, I try to remind myself that those are times
where it would be a good idea to go back to the basics. I accept and
surrender what happened, I learn or review a lesson or two that I’ve picked up
from what happened, and then I get back up to try again.
Bottom line: When we try again and again, we often succeed
and feel much better about ourselves in the long run. It’s what will directly
attribute your own long-term success.
1. Evaluate your daily habits and the results you’re
currently getting.
Many of the most meaningful results you will ever achieve in
your life — the milestones, the relationships, the love, the lessons — come
from the little things you do repeatedly, every single day.
Regardless of your unique talents, knowledge, life
circumstances, or how you personally define success, you don’t suddenly become
successful. You become successful over time based on your willingness to try
again and again — to create little daily habits that amass gradual progress,
through thick and thin.
Too often people overestimate the significance of what feels
like a big defining moment and underestimate the value of making good choices
and small steps of progress on a daily basis. Keep reminding yourself that the
vast majority of the results in your life — positive and negative alike — are
the product of many small decisions made over time. The little things you do
today, and tomorrow, and the next day, truly matter!
2. Stop thinking about your goals, and start focusing on the
recurring daily habits that support them.
The concept of taking it one day at a time, one step at a
time, might seem ridiculously obvious, but at some point, we all get caught up
in the moment and find ourselves yearning for instant gratification. We want
the end goal right now. we want it now, instead of choosing the daily healthy
habits to focus on. Because we don’t get what we want or as fast as we want, it
can feel like we’re not making progress, which helps drive guilt or even
shame.
Remember: You can’t lift a thousand pounds all at
once, yet you can lift one pound a thousand times, over time. Small, repeated,
incremental efforts will get you there. It doesn’t happen in an instant, but it
does happen a lot faster than not getting there at all.
Do your best to consciously shift your daily focus away from
the need to be further along right now and redirect your focus toward the
little daily habits that actually support your goals. In recovery, it’s our
small healthy habits, over time that lift the 1000-pound weight of
codependency. And if you mess up occasionally? Congratulations: You are human.
We’re all fallible. And we’re still precious children of the Universe. We
own up to our mistakes, forgive ourself, and try again. One day at a time, one
step at a time.
3. Leverage small victories to gradually restore your faith.
Restoring and maintaining your faith in yourself is arguably
the most significant hidden benefit of consistently practicing a daily habit —
of trying again and again to make progress. In fact, what I lacked before I
learned to implement these kinds of daily habits was the faith that I was
actually capable of achieving the positive results I desired in my life. I had
tried so many quick fixes in the past that ended in failure, and had grown so
discouraged in myself, that I began subconsciously choosing procrastination
over future attempts to fulfill the little promises I made to myself.
In essence, I lost faith in both my ability and myself. It’s
kind of like another person constantly lying to you — eventually you stop
trusting them. The same holds true with the little promises you make to
yourself that always end in disappointment. Eventually, you stop trusting
yourself.
And the solution in most cases is the same too: you have to
restore your faith and trust gradually, with small promises, small steps (your
daily habits), and small victories, small connections. Again, this process
takes time, but it happens if you stick to it. And it’s undoubtedly one of the
most life-changing things you can do for yourself.
It’s your turn. Your time to shine. Establish and practice
your healthy daily habits, one at a time. Because, once more, if you diligently
take small positive steps day after day, one day you’ll look back with
gratitude for how far you’ve come, and you’ll move forward with renewed faith
in both yourself and your goals.
Choose to give yourself another chance every day — It’s
always worth it and YOU’RE WORTH IT!