Every new beginning comes from some other beginning’s end.
Borrowed from an article by Angel Chernoff
https://www.marcandangel.com/2024/12/18/9-rules-for-turning-endings-into-new-beginnings/#more-511
When you can no longer think of a reason to continue, you
must think of a reason to start over. There’s a big difference between giving
up and starting over in the right direction. And there are three little words
that can release you from your past and guide you forward to a positive new
beginning.
These words are: “From now on:”
1. Let the things you can’t control GO!
Most things are only a part of your life because you keep
thinking about them. Realize this. Positive things will happen in your life
when you emotionally distance yourself from the negative things. So, stop
holding on to what hurts, and make room for what feels right. Do not let what
is out of your control interfere with all the things you can control.
2. Accept and embrace reality.
Life is simple on the average day. Everything happens for
you, not to you. Everything happens at exactly the right moment, neither too
soon nor too late. For everything you lose, you gain something else; and for
everything you gain, you lose something else. You don’t have to like it, but
it’s just easier if you do. So, pay attention to your outlook on life. You can
either regret or rejoice; it’s your choice.
3. Change your mind.
Change is like breath — it isn’t part of the process; it is
the process. In reality the only thing we can count on is change. And the first
step toward positive change is to change your outlook. Prepare for the
positive. Prepare for progress and the “new.” Allow the unknown to take you to
fresh and unforeseen areas in yourself. Growth is impossible without change. If
you cannot change your mind, you cannot change anything in your life. Sometimes
all you need to do is look at things from a different perspective.
4. Hold tight to the good things.
When life’s daily struggles knock you into a pit so deep you
can’t see anything but darkness, don’t waste valuable energy trying to dig your
way out. Because if you hastily dig in the dark, you’re likely to head in the
wrong direction and only dig the pit deeper. Instead, use what energy you have
to reach out and pull something good in with you. For goodness is bright; its
radiance will show you which way is up, and illuminate the correct path that
will take you there.
5. Rest and regroup.
Strength isn’t about bearing a cross of grief or shame.
Strength is about choosing your path, living with the consequences, and
learning the way on the way. Sometimes you do your best and end up with a mess.
When this happens don’t be discouraged. You tried your best. That’s really all
you can ever do. You have not failed — you just learned what not to do. So,
rest, regroup, and begin again with what you now know.
6. Take necessary chances.
Making a big life change or trying something new can be
scary. But do you know what’s even scarier? Regret. So, realize that most of
your fears are much bigger in your mind than they are in reality. You’ll see
this for yourself as soon as you face them, so don’t let them stop you. Live
your life so that you rarely ever have to regret the chances you never took,
the love you never let in, and the gifts you never gave out.
7. Keep climbing.
Every person who is at the top of the mountain did not fall
there from the sky. Good things come to those who work for them. You gain
confidence and grow stronger by every experience in which you truly push
yourself to do something you didn’t think you could do. If you are standing in
that place of in-between, unable or unwilling to go backwards, but too afraid
to move forward, remember that you can’t enjoy the view in the long run without
being willing to climb at least a few small steps every day.
8. Give yourself credit for the lessons learned.
Just because you have struggled does not mean you are
incapable. Every success requires some kind of worthy struggle to get there.
Give yourself credit for the lessons learned and how far you have come. You’re
not the same person you were a year ago, a month ago, or even a week ago.
You’re always learning and growing from your experiences. So, use your
disappointments and frustrations to motivate you rather than annoy you.
Remember, you are in control of the way you respond to life today.
9. Appreciate how every step is necessary.
Almost nothing is 100% wrong in life. We learn from nearly
every step we take. Whatever you did earlier today was a necessary step to get
to tomorrow. So be proud of yourself and notice your progress. Maybe you are
not as good as you want to be, or as great as you one day will be; but thanks
to all the lessons you’ve learned along the way, you are so much better than
you used to be.
Afterthoughts… on Tragic Endings
Let’s take a moment to address an obvious elephant in the
room — the fact that the aforementioned points are infinitely easier said than
done when tragedy strikes. For example, when someone you love passes away too
soon, that’s undoubtedly one of the most difficult and heartbreaking endings to
cope with. Although it takes a lot more time and work, the general principles
for coping with this kind of tragic ending are applicable.
Imagine a person who gave meaning to your life is suddenly
no longer in your life (at least not in the flesh), and you’re not the same
person without them. You have to change who you are — you’re now a widower
instead of a husband, a best friend who sits alone, a dad without a daughter, a
child without a parent, or a next-door neighbor to someone new. You want life
to be the way it was, before death, but it never will be. You never completely
get over the loss — you will never forget them. However, in a backwards way,
this is also the good news.
You see, death and loss are an ending, which is a necessary part of living. And endings are necessary for beauty too — otherwise it’s impossible to appreciate someone or something, because they are unlimited. Limits illuminate beauty, and death is the definitive limit — a reminder that you need to be aware of this beautiful person or situation, and appreciate this beautiful thing called life. Death is also a beginning, because while you’ve lost someone or something special, this ending, like every loss, is a moment of reinvention. Although deeply sad, this passing forces you to reinvent your life, and in this reinvention is an opportunity to experience beauty in new, unseen ways and places. And finally, of course, death is an opportunity to celebrate a person’s life and your past positive experiences, to be grateful for the priceless beauty they showed you, and to begin again in honor of those people and positive parts of the past.
Keep coming back. It works if you work it, so work it.
You’re worth it!