Oxytocin’s Role in Love, Codependency and Addiction

Oxytocin is a naturally occurring hormone that acts as a neurotransmitter. It’s produced by the hypothalamus — a small region at the base of your brain — and secreted by the nearby pituitary gland.

* Adopted and adapted from several articles listed at the end

Oxytocin, dopamine, and serotonin are often referred to as our “happy hormones.” When you’re attracted to another person, your brain releases dopamine, your serotonin levels increase, and oxytocin is produced, helping you feel a surge of positive emotion. Oxytocin is known to increase sociability and feelings of connection and relaxation.

We have biological needs to receive dopamine, oxytocin, vasopressin, serotonin and other hormones and peptides for proper attachment. However, those same attachment hormones that made us fall in love or feel safe and connected, go awry when a person is devalued or discarded, particularly if we experienced a less-than-nurturing environment as a child. Trauma (emotional or physical) can cause shrinkage of the hippocampus and create false signals of safety. What feels “right” or “love at first sight” may be a trauma-triggered reaction. Codependency and trauma are closely related. Making connections between the past and present are crucial to help enjoy a better future, with fewer relationship issues, both with others and ourselves.

If as a child, we experienced a dysfunctional frame of reference, codependency is fostered. Abandonment, abuse, over-controlling, neglect, parental addiction, death of a parent or any childhood trauma can result in a lifetime of grasping for love and connection.

Oxytocin is often referred to as the ‘love or happy hormone’ but modern research is finding it also plays an important role beyond simply impacting our emotions around love and healthy bonding or connections with others. Oxytocin is increasingly being found to help treat mental health issues, including being part of a treatment protocol for co-dependency and addiction, in addition to autism, anxiety disorders and other developmental and psychiatric conditions that impair social interaction.

Negative behaviors associated with co-dependency, addiction and chemical withdrawal, such as anxiety, depression and social withdrawal, are all reduced by administering oxytocin. This indicates that targeting the brain’s oxytocin system may be an effective treatment for all stages, from prevention, to treatment of active illness, to withdrawal and detox, and ultimately for prevention.

Research on oxytocin’s efficacy as a treatment for mental health (including co-dependency), alcohol and substance abuse disorders are ongoing, including identifying effective means of bolstering or administering the hormone. While that research involving medically administered oxytocin treatment continues, there are several ways to naturally boost oxytocin levels on your own:

Physical touch: Safe, consensual physical contact like hugs or handshakes can increase oxytocin release.
Exercise: Regular physical activity, especially group exercise, can boost oxytocin levels.
Mindfulness and meditation: These practices can help reduce stress and potentially increase oxytocin production.
Pet therapy: Interacting with animals has been shown to increase oxytocin levels.
Engaging in hobbies or activities with others: Shared positive experiences can promote oxytocin release
Listen to music – Or make your own.
Get (or give) a massage.
Tell someone how much you care.
Spend time with friends.
Make your conversations count – When you are together, it’s NOT the time for multitasking.

Bonding / connection, trust / empathy are cultivated when we put down any distractions.
Make eye contact, and give them your complete attention.

Cook (and eat) with someone you care about.
Cuddle or hug
Have (healthy, safe, emotionally connected) sex
Do something nice for someone
Pet dogs!

Oxytocin research isn’t conclusive, and there’s still plenty for experts to discover about this hormone, including its benefits, how to access or administer it, and whether there’s such a thing as too much of it. One thing is certain though: Oxytocin, while beneficial, isn’t a cure. It can’t repair a damaged relationship, give you empathy, nor fix codependency or addiction or other mental health challenges on its own.

If you need help, GET HELP! You’re worth it. Seek professional guidance from a therapist and recovery programs that can assist you in exploring possible causes and take steps to live a healthier life.

Curious to learn more?

https://issuu.com/fmhca/docs/april_insession_2022_5_/s/15303425

https://psychcentral.com/health/what-is-codependency-traits

https://www.hedmanwellness.com/codependency-love-addiction

https://whatiscodependency.com/toxic-romance-attachment-love-addiction/

https://www.rehabcenter.net/how-co-dependency-affects-recovery/

https://renewbreakupbootcamp.com/are-you-walking-on-eggshells-in-your-relationship-the-science-of-codependency/

https://www.mhanational.org/co-dependency

https://www.womensrecovery.com/womens-rehab-blog/codependency-supports-substance-abuse/

https://www.instagram.com/psycho_therapist_renee/p/Ctjzv7hx87b/

https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/26449882/

https://www.healthline.com/health/love-hormone