Identifying our good qualities can be challenging when we believe we’re worthless or have low self-esteem. When we’re feeling worthless, our negative thoughts distort our perception of ourselves and we overlook the positives. No matter who you are and what you have been through, you are not worthless and you do have good qualities. Identifying our good qualities even if we feel worthless can help guide us to the things we’re suited to, help us find meaning or purpose in life, and most importantly, to see our own worth and build our self-esteem.
Assembled with gratitude, from a compilation of articles by multiple authors:
https://tinybuddha.com/blog/7-things-to-remember-when-you-think-youre-not-good-enough/
https://laurabaileyblog.com/mindset/positive-mind-2/33034/
“We can complain because rose bushes have thorns, or rejoice because thorn bushes have roses.” Abraham Lincoln
How we think affects how we feel. Don’t believe everything you think, particularly if those thoughts are driven by the pressure to ‘stack up,’ that is often present in our culture. Thoughts are just thoughts, and it’s unhealthy and exhausting to give so much power to the negative ones. Sometimes in the midst of all the pressure, it can be easy to totally forget all the wonderful, unique things about ourselves.
Pay attention to those good things you’ve done each day and that includes both your thoughts and actions. Also pay attention to any compliments, smiles or thank-you's that you might get. You might even write down a list of good things every day, to keep you focused, and as a sort of buoy or reminder for when you're feeling down or negative.
Following are some reminders and tips to help highlight the good in any of us. Remember, these tips are not intended as a substitute for therapy. If you are feeling persistently worthless or down, please consider seeking the help of a therapist, in addition to recovery articles, tips and meetings.
Past mistakes don’t define who I am. To have a positive mind, I can remind myself that my past mistakes do not define who I am. When it comes to the past, I have a couple of choices: I can choose to let it define, confine and lead-blanket me or I can choose to finally leave it behind me. Yes, that’s often easier said than done. It helps to remember that mistakes aren’t always a bad thing. They can help me grow, through using each as a lesson and stepping stone towards building a better me.
It’s never too late. Do you ever look back on your life and think to yourself, if only I had done this or that then my life would be different now? Maybe it feels like we were born into unsupportive or even destructive environments or circumstances and now it’s too late to change. This mind set is only going to delay us even further in living the life we desire. The truth is, it’s never too late to be the person we want to be.
Happiness is found within. “If only I could land my dream job, then I would be truly happy; If I met the right person my life would be complete; If I earned more money all of my problems would disappear.”
Sometimes we believe that we need to accomplish a particular goal in order to be happy, the reality is these accomplishments will only bring you joy for as long as you choose to be happy. You first have to find the happiness within you, only then will reality reflect your feelings
Everyone’s journey is different. In order to keep a positive mind, I can remind myself that everyone’s journey is as different as the next and everyone’s experiences are the result of many different influences. It’s not fair to compare my journey or accomplishments to others. I can certainly find inspiration from those I admire, be motivated by their positivity and apply their qualities into my life. We all compare ourselves to other people but even those people who seem to have it all, do not. My life is and should be different from theirs.
A positive mind creates positive results. If I feel like I’m leaning towards a negative mindset, I can instead switch to imagine the positive side of the situation. Our thoughts are more powerful than we often realize. We each hold the power to change our thoughts. Remember: There is more right than wrong with every one of us.
Progress rather than perfection. In our society we often strive for perfection as the definition of success and when we fall short, we feel less than or even worthless. What we don’t seem to realize in those instances, is that working toward our goals and being willing to put ourselves out there are accomplishments within themselves. Instead of berating myself if I don’t get it perfect or even stumble backward sometimes, I will remember to accept the lesson to be learned, give myself acknowledgment for trying (including a small pat on the back). All of it is making progress and has helped me come as far as I have.
You can’t hate your way into loving yourself. Telling yourself what a failure you are won’t make you any more successful. Telling yourself you’re not living up to your full potential won’t help you reach a higher potential. Telling yourself you’re worthless and unlovable won’t make you feel any more worthy or lovable. I know it sounds almost annoyingly simple, but the only way to achieve self-love is to love yourself—regardless of who you are and where you stand at any moment.
Want more? Consider getting to better know your personality and the strengths that go with it. There are many good things that come with who you are. Learn to see the positives in your individual traits. You can use a profiling tool, such as VIA Survey, NERIS or Meyer Briggs to help you identify character strengths.
https://www.viacharacter.org/survey/account/Register
https://www.16personalities.com/free-personality-test
https://www.crystalknows.com/jung-myers-and-briggs-personality-test#assessment
It works if you work it. So WORK IT, YOU’RE WORTH IT!