1. I have the right to my own thoughts, feelings, and values. I don’t have to be like everyone else. And I don’t have to always agree with everyone else. I am my own person and entitled (just like everyone else) to my own sense of self. I need not let differences in opinions make me feel like I’m wrong or the other person is wrong. My true friends and family will still love me whether or not they agree with anything I do or say!
2. The only person I have control over is myself. When I take control of other people, I am taking away their right to their own thoughts, feelings, and behaviors – that’s not fair. I’ll remind myself to shift my focus back on me and get to know myself better. It’s time to discover what I want and need in life!
3. I don’t have to own other people’s issues. Just as it’s no one else’s responsibility to fix my problems, it’s not my responsibility to solve anyone else’s. I’ll remember to let myself off the hook and work on being my best self instead!
4. Saying NO does not make me selfish or unkind. There is nothing wrong or mean about declining, refusing, or disagreeing. “No” is a way I communicate my preference – just like answering, “Yes.” That’s it. It’s understandable if the person I am answering is disappointed, but it’s their responsibility to get over it. Those who flatly refuse to accept my decision would benefit from stepping back and work on their own boundaries. But that’s for them to choose whether or not to work on.
5. I deserve to be just as kind to myself as I am to others. I am worthy of as much love, kindness, and compassion as the most celebrated people on our planet. I will not allow anyone to convince me that I deserve less. Those suggestions usually come from people with hurtful intentions and their own problems.
6. I don’t have to sacrifice my well-being to care for others. I have the right and responsibility to care for and protect myself in order to continue performing at my highest capacity. This not only benefits me, but those who depend on me. Because when I’m at my best, I can better care for those around me.
7. My self-worth isn’t based on external approval. Self-worth is the value I place on myself. it’s completely independent of what anyone else thinks about me or what I can do for anyone else. When needed, I’ll remind myself to take a deep breath and appreciate the heck out of who I am!
8. Having my own preferences and choosing what feels right for me is not selfish. Codependents tend to believe doing what’s right for them is selfish. This is why setting and enforcing boundaries is necessary. Healthy boundaries give me a safe place to comfortably step into my authentic self!
9. I can be loved simply for who I am. I don’t have to fit into everyone’s mold in order to be loved. That’s not real love – it’s being loved for who I appear to be. There’s nothing wrong being an acquired taste. I can relax and be myself. This will draw in people who genuinely appreciate and love me for who I really am.
NOTE- Article adapted* from https://psychcentral.com/blog/permission-to-thrive/2020/01/characteristics-of-codependents#Statements-of-Truth-to-Help-Support-Recovery