Mindset and Perspective Matter
Adopted and adapted* from a variety of articles on https://www.marcandangel.com by Marc & Angel Chernoff
Life’s Heavy Loads
On the last day of class before graduation, a professor walked up on stage to teach one final lesson, which she called “a vital lesson on the power of perspective and mindset.” As she raised a glass of water over her head, everyone expected her to mention the typical “glass half empty or glass half full” metaphor. Instead, with a smile on her face, our professor asked, “How heavy is this glass of water I’m holding?”
Students shouted out answers ranging from a couple of ounces to a couple of pounds.
After a few moments of fielding answers and nodding her head, she replied, “From my perspective, the absolute weight of this glass is irrelevant. It all depends on how long I hold it. If I hold it for a minute or two, it’s fairly light. If I hold it for an hour straight, its weight might make my arm ache. If I hold it for a day straight, my arm will likely cramp up and feel completely numb and paralyzed, forcing me to drop the glass to the floor. In each case, the absolute weight of the glass doesn’t change, but the longer I hold it, the heavier it feels to me.”
“Your worries, frustrations, disappointments, and stressful thoughts are very much like this glass of water. Think about them for a little while and nothing drastic happens. Think about them a bit longer and you begin to feel noticeable pain. Think about them all day long, and you will feel completely numb and paralyzed, incapable of doing anything else until you drop them.”
Think about how this relates to your life.
If you’ve been struggling to cope with the weight of what’s on your mind, it’s a strong sign that it’s time to put the glass down.
Mindset and Perspective Matter
Things in life will continue to happen that are unexpected, undesirable, and uncontrollable. But YOU CAN choose to take the next step.
Closing the door, completing the chapter, turning the page, etc.—it doesn’t matter what you title it; what matters is that you find the strength to leave in the past those parts of your life that are over and changed. Right now, it’s all about embracing the truth: What has happened is uncontrollable; It’s what you do now changes everything!
Of course, knowing this and actually living a lifestyle that reinforces this truth are two very different things. Letting go of the old way is NOT easy—it’s a journey that's traveled one day at a time. But if you start today and stick with it, here’s what your journey can teach you as fast as the few weeks ahead:
- The most powerful changes happen in your life when you decide to take control of what you do have power over instead of craving control over everything you don’t.
- Most people make themselves unhappy simply by finding it impossible to accept life just as it is presenting itself right now.
- The secret to getting ahead today is to focus all of your energy not on fixing and fighting the old and unchangeable, but on building and growing something new and different.
- Stepping onto a brand-new path is difficult, but not more difficult than remaining in a situation that no longer fits, or no longer exists.
- Letting go doesn’t mean you don’t care about something or someone anymore. It’s just realizing that the only thing you really have control over is yourself in this moment.
Think about how these points relate to your life right now.
Your present response is more powerful than your present circumstance. A part of your life is unquestionably decided by completely uncontrollable circumstances right now, yet the vast majority of your life is decided by how you respond to these kinds of circumstances. The goal is not to get rid of all your painful thoughts, feelings, or life circumstances, because that's impossible. The goal is to change your responses, starting today.
Life’s Obstacles and Pain Can be Turned into Strengths
Many of the most iconic books, songs, and inventions of all time were inspired by gut-wrenching pain and heartbreak. The silver lining of these painful challenges is that they were the catalyst to the creation of epic masterpieces.
An emerging field of psychology called Post-Traumatic Growth has suggested that many people are able to use their hardships and traumas for substantial creative and intellectual development. Specifically, researchers have found that trauma can help people grow in the areas of interpersonal relationships, contentment, gratitude, personal strength, and resourcefulness.
When our view of the world as a certain type of place has been shattered, we are forced to reboot our perspective on things. We suddenly have the opportunity to look out to the periphery and see things with a new, fresh set of beginner’s eyes, which is very conducive to personal growth and long-term success and wellness.
Mindfully focus on the positive
A recent scientific study showed that doctors who are put in a positive mood before making a diagnosis consistently experience significant boosts to their intellectual abilities than doctors in a neutral state, allowing them to make accurate diagnoses almost 20% faster. The same study then shifted to other vocations and found that optimistic salespeople outsell their pessimistic counterparts by over 50%. Students primed to feel happy before taking math tests substantially outperform their neutral peers. So, it turns out that our minds are literally hardwired to perform at their best when they are positive.
Of course, that’s not to say that successful people never get upset, but your effectiveness in all walks of life will fare better if you’re able to mindfully accept and let go of negative emotions, rather than dwelling on them. Think a little less about managing your problems and a little more about managing your mindset.
And of course, if you're struggling with any of this, know that you are not alone. Many of us are right there with you, working hard to feel better, think more clearly, and get our lives back on track. It’s about progress, not perfection.
And remember:
Serenity is not freedom from the storm. Serenity is peace in the midst of the storm.
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*For KC CoDA purposes, articles are edited to come from an "I/me" perspective. They also may have edited content and format.